Thursday, 5 March 2015

Gopher Golf: Final Screenplay, March 2015

Even through the production and shooting of my film 'Gopher Golf', I'm still making amendments to the screenplay. Here is the latest draft.
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INT. HALLWAY - DAY

A leaflet falls through the letterbox on a front door.

A man walks over and picks it up. This man is the GOLFER, a tall man wearing a green golf shirt, hat, shoes and shorts.

The man sees a large headline on the newspaper and gasps - it reads "$10,000,000 prize offered at Golfing Championship". The Golfer clearly becomes excited and nods decisively.

EXT. GARDEN - DAY
The Golfer carefully places the golf ball on a tee in his back garden.

The garden is very large with flat, green, freshly-cut grass, a pond and a single tree at the end and fencing all around the garden obscuring the view outside. At the end of his garden, the Golfer has very badly dug a hole for the golf ball to land into which is clearly too large.

The Golfer swings carefully then hits the golf ball. The ball misses the hole and lands in a tree.

The Golfer GROANS LOUDLY.
We cut to the Golfer trying again. This time he hits the golf ball into the pond.

The Golfer then hits the ball again. It's clear in his aim that he is frustrated and not putting much effort into it. The ball knocks over a garden gnome. The Golfer gives a fed-up look and SIGHS LOUDLY.

Next the Golfer hits the ball over the fence. We hear the sound of the ball hitting an old woman and a car which crashes.

The golfer growls angrily. The Golfer then calms down and looks at the golf hole again. He sighs then proceeds to try one more time. This time he aims much more carefully with greater precision. He hits the ball and it finally goes into the golf hole. The Golfer cheers and shouts excitedly, then looks at his newspaper again feeling much happier.

EXT. PLAYING FIELD - DAY

The big day has arrived. Another GOLFER has just taken a shot but the ball lands too far from the hole. The other golfer cries loudly in anger and hurries off. Our Golfer simply laughs as he starts taking his place in preparation for his perfect shot. A large crowd is seen behind him sitting in stadium seating.

The Golfer is looking very nervous as he prepares his perfect shot. He keeps moving hesitantly as if he is unsure at what moment to hit the ball.

The Golfer finally hits the ball. There is complete silence.

The ball hits the ground after a prolonged silence. It moves its way around the golf hole. Everyone is watching. Finally the golf ball lands in the hole. The crowd cheers and the Golfer cheers loudest of all.

The Golfer takes out a leaflet showing a picture of a mansion up for sale, making it clear how the Golfer plans to use his prize money.

Suddenly, the sounds of cheering start to fade. Also Sprach Zarathustra by Richard Strauss plays.
Unknown to the Golfer, the golf ball emerges out of the golf hole again, moving very, very slowly. The golf ball is riding on a GOPHER.

The Gopher brings the ball back up to the surface again in a shot referencing the opening of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

The Gopher watches the Golfer, looking happy and looking forward to having his revenge.

EXT. MANSION - DAY

We see the Mansion on top of a large hill, with a "Just Sold" sign outside.

The Gopher watches from nearby, looking very pleased with himself. Behind him there is a crate of TNT. He holds up two wires and connects them together.

The entire mansion suddenly explodes.


The Golfer walks up, holding the keys to his new mansion. He screams when he sees the mansion is no longer there - the Golfer has now got his comeuppance.

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