"Scream Street" is a new stop-motion series which made its debut on CBBC in October this year. The show is made at Factory, an animation studio in Altrincham, and is owned by Coolabi.
Recently, CBBC, Factory and Coolabi launched a competition for aspiring animators in Northern England, inviting students to create a 45-second long animation featuring the show's comic relief characters, Dig the dog and Lulu the leech. Using these two characters and a selection of props (which the modelmakers at Factory have already produced), I storyboarded a short piece, imagining what these two characters would be like in a particular situation. The situation I chose was "bowling", a situation which would allow Dig to show his over-eager personality and Lulu her bossy personality.
Yesterday, after several months of hard work, I finally completed all work on my film 'Gopher Golf', along with my latest show-reel, CV, action plan, poster and official still shot for the film.
There's no doubt that my final film is a lot different from how I first imagined it would look. Over the course of the last eight months, the narrative of the film has become a lot stronger. I am strongly against being able to predict how films will end, so I was pleased with my audience feedback because a mystery had been set up in the film - "we know the Gopher's going to get his revenge, but how?", as one comment from the feedback asks. The film is stronger as a comedy as well, and the final version generated more laughs than the original pitch for the film back in September.
I'm also pleased that the film's visual style is a lot stronger than in many of my earlier works. A lot more time and effort went into trying to make the film look better - I'm still happy today with the narrative and animation in my second year film, although time constraints and various issues meant I couldn't put as much effort into the sets and pre-production as I would've liked.
However, I've felt unsure many times whether the narrative and visual style would work together or not. The narrative has become a lot more focused on surreal comedy and slapstick, much like classic Disney or Looney Tunes cartoons from the "Golden Age of American Animation". Therefore, I've wondered many times if the film would work better if it was entirely 2D, not a mixed media - 2D, or traditional animation, is a lot more suited to surreal humour than either stop-motion or CGI, in my opinion. I only started to feel more comfortable about the film being a mixed media after the positive feedback it received. I have learnt a lot about different directors who have their own styles, so I became quite relaxed after feeling like I have achieved my own look. After seeing the final film all together, I feel very pleased with the end result.
Even through the production and shooting of my film 'Gopher Golf', I'm still making amendments to the screenplay. Here is the latest draft.
----
INT. HALLWAY
- DAY
A leaflet falls through the letterbox on a front door.
A
man walks over and picks it up. This man is the GOLFER, a tall man wearing a
green golf shirt, hat, shoes and shorts.
The man sees a large headline on the
newspaper and gasps - it reads "$10,000,000 prize offered at Golfing
Championship". The Golfer clearly becomes excited and nods decisively.
EXT. GARDEN
- DAY
The Golfer carefully places the golf ball on a tee in his
back garden.
The garden is very large with flat, green, freshly-cut grass, a
pond and a single tree at the end and fencing all around the garden obscuring
the view outside. At the end of his garden, the Golfer has very badly dug a
hole for the golf ball to land into which is clearly too large.
The Golfer swings carefully then hits the golf ball. The ball
misses the hole and lands in a tree.
The Golfer GROANS LOUDLY.
We cut to the Golfer trying again. This time he hits the golf
ball into the pond.
The Golfer then hits the ball again. It's clear in
his aim
that he is frustrated and not putting much effort into it. The ball
knocks over a garden gnome. The Golfer gives a fed-up look and SIGHS
LOUDLY.
Next the Golfer hits the ball over the fence. We hear the sound of the ball hitting an old woman and a car which crashes.
The golfer growls angrily. The Golfer then calms down and
looks at the golf hole again. He
sighs then proceeds to try one more time. This time he aims much more carefully
with greater precision. He hits the ball and it finally goes into the golf
hole. The Golfer cheers and shouts excitedly, then looks at his newspaper again
feeling much happier.
EXT. PLAYING
FIELD - DAY
The big day has arrived. Another GOLFER has just taken a shot
but the ball lands too far from the hole. The other golfer cries loudly in
anger and hurries off. Our Golfer simply laughs as he starts taking his place
in
preparation for his perfect shot. A large crowd is seen behind him sitting in
stadium seating.
The Golfer
is looking very nervous as he prepares his perfect shot. He keeps moving
hesitantly as if he is unsure at what moment to hit the ball.
The Golfer finally hits the ball. There is complete silence.
The ball hits the ground after a prolonged silence. It moves
its way around the golf hole. Everyone is watching. Finally the golf ball lands
in the hole. The crowd cheers and the Golfer cheers loudest of all.
The Golfer takes out a leaflet showing a picture of a
mansion up for sale, making it clear how the Golfer plans to use his
prize money.
Suddenly, the sounds of cheering start to fade. Also Sprach
Zarathustra by Richard Strauss plays.
Unknown to the Golfer, the golf ball emerges out of
the golf hole again, moving very, very slowly. The golf ball is riding on a GOPHER.
The Gopher brings the ball back up to the surface again in a
shot referencing the opening of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
The Gopher watches the Golfer, looking happy and looking forward to having his revenge.
EXT. MANSION - DAY
We see the Mansion on top of a large hill, with a "Just Sold" sign outside.
The Gopher watches from nearby, looking very pleased
with himself. Behind him there is a crate of TNT. He holds up two wires
and connects them together.
The entire mansion suddenly explodes.
The Golfer walks up, holding the keys to his new
mansion. He screams when he sees the mansion is no longer there - the
Golfer has now got his comeuppance.
This is the final draft of the "Gopher Golf" screenplay before production is due to start in the New Year.
-----
Sound of doorbell. Title card
against a blue sky. A newspaper flies through the air and straight through the
Golfer’s letterbox.
INT.
HALLWAY - DAY
A
newspaper falls through the letterbox on a front door. A man walks over and
picks it up. This man is the GOLFER, a tall man wearing a green golf shirt,
hat, shoes and trousers. The man sees a large headline on the newspaper and
gasps - it reads "$10,000,000 prize offered at Golfing Championship".
The Golfer clearly becomes excited and nods decisively.
EXT.
GARDEN – DAY
The
Golfer carefully places the golf ball on a tee in his back garden. The garden
is very large with flat, green, freshly-cut grass, a pond and a single tree at
the end and fencing all around the garden obscuring the view outside. At the
end of his garden, the Golfer has very badly dug a hole for the golf ball to
land into which is clearly too large.
We see shots of these in the
order as they are described above. Shot of the Golfer looking at where the
golf-hole is.
The
Golfer swings carefully then hits the golf ball. The ball misses the hole and
lands near the tree.
The
Golfer GROANS LOUDLY.
Match-on-action shots of each of
these.
We
cut to the Golfer trying again. This time he hits the golf ball into the pond.
The
Golfer then hits the ball again. It's clear in his aim that he is frustrated
and not putting much effort into it. The ball lands in the tree. The Golfer
gives a fed-up look and SIGHS LOUDLY.
Quickly-cut montage of all of the
Golfer’s attempts to hit the ball successfully.
Next
the Golfer hits the ball over the fence and we hear the ball hitting an old
lady, who falls over with her bags of groceries.
Only hear the sound effects;
possibly hear a car alarm.
The
golfer growls angrily. The Golfer then calms down and looks at the golf hole
again. He sighs then proceeds to try one more time. This time he aims much more
carefully with greater precision. He hits the ball and it finally goes into the
golf hole. The Golfer cheers and shouts excitedly, then looks at his newspaper
again feeling much happier.
EXT.
PLAYING FIELD - DAY
The
big day has arrived. Another GOLFER has just taken a shot but the ball lands
too far from the hole. The other golfer cries loudly in anger and hurries off.
Our Golfer simply laughs as he starts taking his place in preparation for his
perfect shot. A large crowd is seen behind him sitting in stadium seating.
The other golfer has different
clothing to our golfer. We see the other golfer hitting the ball from a far
distance from where our golfer is.
The
whole time the Commentator is heard talking, the Golfer is looking very nervous
as he prepares his perfect shot. He keeps moving hesitantly as if he is unsure
at what moment to hit the ball.
A series of close-up and extreme
close-up shots follow of the Golfer, the golf ball, the golf club and the
target.
The
Golfer finally hits the ball. There is complete silence.
The
ball hits the ground after a prolonged silence. It moves its way around the
golf hole. Everyone is watching. Finally the golf ball lands in the hole. The
crowd cheers and the Golfer cheers loudest of all.
Suddenly,
the sounds of cheering start to fade. Also Sprach Zarathustra by Richard Strauss
plays.
Sound effects go quiet; the music
is the only thing we hear now. The lighting also darkens.
The
Golfer looks in disbelief as the golf ball emerges out of the golf hole again,
moving very, very slowly. The Golfer gasps in horror as he sees the golf ball
is riding on a GOPHER.
The
Gopher brings the ball back up to the surface again in a shot referencing the
opening of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
The Gopher’s face is first
revealed on the first “dun-dun’ cue. Shorten the 2001 music for the film’s shorter
running time.
The
Golfer slams his golf club to the ground in a similar way to how the apes in
2001: A Space Odyssey slam bones to the ground. He is clearly angry and
frustrated. It is very clear now that the Golfer has lost the tournament.
Clouds appear behind the Golfer;
before he lost the game the sky was pure blue.
The
Gopher throws the golf ball off his head, which hits and smashes the camera.
Here is the script breakdown for my film "Gopher Golf". Note that since this was completed, I have made the decision to remove all dialogue from the film, allowing the characters' performances to tell the story more fluently.
The following is an example (two pages) from a script for the Spyder TV series. The example is taken from the episode 'Sabotage', which features a classic example of Spyder driving Colonel Long Legs mad.
"Sabotage" - Episode Synopsis:
Spyder is due to receive a promotion (and a big shiny medal) from Chief Cidae and Colonel Long Legs will do anything to stop it happening. Long Legs sabotages the interview and causes difficulty with Spyder’s current case. He is determined to prove Aaron Eae is a much worthier agent for the promotion, but Long Legs inadvertently helps Spyder solve his case and Spyder receives his promotion – the Service’s top UK agent.
--
INT. SPYDER
HEADQUARTERS
Colonel Long Legs is sitting behind his 'desk', with Spyder
and Aaron Eae facing him. Chief Cidae appears unexpectedly.
CHIEF CIDAE
Good morning, Colonel.
COLONEL LONG LEGS
(gasps)
Chief Cidae, Sir!
Colonel Long Legs and Aaron Eae both turn to face the Chief,
saluting him. Spyder also turns and salutes him with the wrong hand. He quickly
changes sides.
CHIEF CIDAE
I've seen some outstanding work coming from this base lately,
and I'm here today to give you the good news. One of your agents has been
chosen for the 'Agent of the Year' award at this year's ceremony.
COLONEL LONG LEGS
(chuckles)
Well, I have to say I'm hardly surprised, Sir! Our records do
show we've had the highest success rate out of all the Spyder Service's
offices. I mean, this is a tremendous honour of course-
CHIEF CIDAE
Yes, whatever. Thank you, Long Legs. May I have a word with
your very finest agent?
COLONEL LONG LEGS
Oh, err, yes Sir! Absolutely! Go on, Aaron! Show 'em what
you're made of!
SPYDER
Silk?
COLONEL LONG LEGS
Shut up, 008!
CHIEF CIDAE
Long Legs! I would appreciate it if you didn't talk to the
Spyder Service's very best agent like that!
COLONEL LONG LEGS
Oh, yes, of course. Sorry, Sir... wait, what!!??
AARON EAE
What!!??
SPYDER
Yeah, don't talk to Aaron like that, you Meany!
CHIEF CIDAE
Agent 008 is the agent I wish to give the 'Agent of the Year'
award to. I trust none of us have any objections?
COLONEL LONG LEGS
(through teeth)
None whatsoever, Sir...
CHIEF CIDAE
Excellent! Well, that's that, then! Spyder, congratulations!
You are a credit to the service!
SPYDER
Oh, well, thank you very much, Sir!
COLONEL LONG LEGS
Don't talk to him without permission!
CHIEF CIDAE
Silence, Long Legs!! I do believe you're forgetting your
place!
COLONEL LONG LEGS
Well, I am the Colonel.
CHIEF CIDAE
Silence!! (clears throat) Anyway, well done, 008. I shall
expect to see you all at this Friday's ceremony! Good day!
Chief Cidae leaves, leaving Spyder awestruck and Colonel Long
Legs and Aaron Eae in absolute shock.
SPYDER
I'm... getting... an award!? Yippee!! I'm getting an award,
I'm getting an award, I'm getting an award!!
AARON EAE
But... I've had a higher success rate than that loser! How
could he possibly have been chosen for the award!? I put all my time and effort
into doing some good for this organisation-!
COLONEL LONG LEGS
Calm down! The ceremony's on Friday! That's enough time to
make Chief Cidae change his mind! Come on, Aaron, my lad! I have a plan!
01: First Day: Spyder's first ever mission. Colonel Long Legs welcomes Spyder into the service on his first day, although he is not quite sure what to expect of this new agent. Only Dr Naria and Miss Black Widow try to welcome him into the Spyder Service and help him on his first mission. Colonel Long Legs gets angry when Spyder lets the villains escape on his first mission. Rival agent Aaron Eae laughs and boasts that he wasn’t as clumsy as Spyder and that he’ll never be the agent he is, to which the Colonel agrees. However, Spyder later spots the same villains again plotting their second robbery and manages to defeat them all by himself. Chief Cidae is very impressed and Dr Naria and Miss Black Widow are delighted for their new friend. Aaron Eae gets stressed out and Colonel Long Legs darkly comments he’ll “have to keep an eye on this new agent”…
02: The Missing Agents:
HQ
notices many of its agents are disappearing, so Colonel Long Legs sends Spyder out
on a mission to find out what’s going on. Spyder interrogates Buzz Fuzz and
Senor Culicido, who both confirm they have not trapped all the spiders. Later,
Spyder finally discovers Queen Ant has trapped them all, determined to make
them follow law and order in the way her colony does. Spyder has to help free
the agents and return them home before the Queen brainwashes them into thinking
her ways.
03: Inside Job:
Aaron Eae teams up with Buzz Fuzz in order to get him to kick Spyder off the
Spyder Service - making Aaron Eae the new top agent, but Buzz Fuzz has his own
ideas for taking over the Spyder Service. Buzz Fuzz is able to capture Spyder, the top agent, and trap him inside Big Ben, planning for the noise of the bell to be powerful enough to kill Spyder! The Service becomes incredibly concerned when Spyder is reported missing. They search all over London, only to find out Spyder was inside Big Ben (opposite the service's Westminster HQ) the whole time! Aaron Eae is forced to own up to his mistake and save Spyder.
04: An Inspector Falls:
Chief
Cidae is about to carry out an inspection of all of the Spyder Service’s main
offices. Colonel Long Legs is determined to make sure the London HQ is up to
standard, but Spyder keeps getting in the way. In the end, after Spyder defeats
a villain who is attacking the base, Chief Cidae decides to keep the London
base open.
05: Spyder’s Apprentice:
Colonel
Long Legs wants Aaron Eae to show a new recruit around the base, but Spyder
nominates himself instead, offering the new recruit “on-the-job training” –
meaning taking him out on a mission. Colonel Long Legs panics the new agent is
not ready, but the new agent might just prove his worth!
06: Sabotage: Spyder is due to receive a promotion (and a big shiny medal) from Chief Cidae and Colonel Long Legs will do anything to stop it happening. Long Legs sabotages the interview and causes difficulty with Spyder’s current case. He is determined to prove Aaron Eae is a much worthier agent for the promotion, but Long Legs inadvertently helps Spyder solve his case and Spyder receives his promotion – the Service’s top UK agent.
07: Spyder’s Holiday:
Colonel
Long Legs has the ultimate plan to get rid of Spyder once and for all: he encourages
Spyder to take an extended holiday in Bournemouth, then erase his files and
fire him since he has been away for too long. However, Spyder’s extreme boredom
leads him to go exploring and he discovers a hideaway for some of the Spyder
Service’s top enemies. Here is where Spyder uncovers their own plan to take
over the Service, so Spyder returns, able to warn the Service of the attack and
thus save the day again!
08: Gone for Gold:
The
Spyder Service is about to throw a surprise party to thank Dr Naria for 50
years of service, but Colonel Long Legs speculates Spyder will try to ruin the
surprise. Spyder misinterprets Miss Black Widow’s claim it will be a “golden
celebration”, and sneaks into Buckingham Palace determined to steal some gold
as a present for Dr Naria. Some of the villains are also at the Palace, hoping
to take down the Royals who they believe are “the leaders of the human race”.
The Queen Ant is leading the revolution, angry that the humans should have
their own Queen. However, with Spyder’s help, the villains later realise the
Prime Minister would be a better target instead.
09: The Colonel’s
Retirement:
Chief
Cidae is unimpressed with the Colonel’s inability to handle the London offices,
so he decides the Colonel ought to retire. Spyder wants to help and he saves
the Colonel from losing his job – but the Colonel is still ungrateful!
10: Break a Leg:
The
Colonel is outraged that Spyder wants to abandon his base so he can take Miss
Black Widow out for her birthday. They are about to see a West End show with Dr
Naria and Chief Cidae, leaving only the Colonel and Aaron Eae back at the base!
In their absence, the base is attacked and the Colonel and Aaron Eae have to
fight off all the villains. Later they realise they were dreaming when Spyder
returns and tells them the villains were at the show as well.
11: New Management:
In the series finale,
there is concern when Chief Cidae goes missing and a giant spider named
Phoneutria arrives. Phoneutria claims he is the new CEO of the Spyder Service
and Cidae chose to retire. Colonel Long Legs is impressed with Phoneutria’s
record working for the Service’s other UK branches, so he happily welcomes him
to London. Spyder, however, remains suspicious since Cidae recently told him he
had no plans to retire at all. Phoneutria imposes some strange new changes in
his new position as CEO, such as fewer work hours for all employees and
suggesting spiders should only go out on missions if there’s a real emergency.
In the meantime, Phoneutria has secretly gathered all of the villains including
the Wasp Patrol, Queen Ant, Senor Culicido and others with a plan to invade the
Houses of Parliament and take down the human race. Later, Phoneutria reveals
his evil plan and traps all spiders. Spyder discovers Phoneutria has locked up
Chief Cidae, Dr Naria and Miss Black Widow – the ones who suspected Phoneutria
from the beginning – inside a cardboard box. Spyder sets them free and the four
allies must work together to stop the invasion.
Below is the second draft of the script for "Gopher Golf". This version cuts down the amount of dialogue from the Commentator.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
A newspaper falls through the letterbox on a front door. A man
walks over and picks it up. This man is the GOLFER, a tall man wearing a green
golf shirt, hat, shoes and shorts. The man sees a large headline on the
newspaper and gasps - it reads "$10,000,000 prize offered at Golfing
Championship". The Golfer clearly becomes excited and nods decisively.
EXT. GARDEN - DAY
The Golfer carefully places the golf ball on a tee in his back
garden. The garden is very large with flat, green, freshly-cut grass, a pond
and a single tree at the end and fencing all around the garden obscuring the
view outside. At the end of his garden, the Golfer has very badly dug a hole
for the golf ball to land into which is clearly too large.
The Golfer swings carefully then hits the golf ball. The ball
misses the hole and lands near the tree.
The Golfer GROANS LOUDLY.
We cut to the Golfer trying again. This time he hits the golf
ball into the pond.
The Golfer then hits the ball again. It's clear in his aim that
he is frustrated and not putting much effort into it. The ball lands in the
tree. The Golfer gives a fed-up look and SIGHS LOUDLY.
Next the Golfer hits the ball over the fence and we hear the
ball hitting an old lady, who falls over with her bags of groceries.
The golfer growls angrily. The Golfer then calms down and looks
at the golf hole again. He sighs then proceeds to try one more time. This time
he aims much more carefully with greater precision. He hits the ball and it
finally goes into the golf hole. The Golfer cheers and shouts excitedly, then
looks at his newspaper again feeling much happier.
EXT. PLAYING FIELD - DAY
The big day has arrived. Another GOLFER has just taken a shot
but the ball lands too far from the hole. The other golfer cries loudly in anger
and hurries off. Our Golfer simply laughs as he starts taking his place in
preparation for his perfect shot. A large crowd is seen behind him sitting in
stadium seating.
The whole time the Commentator is heard talking, the Golfer is
looking very nervous as he prepares his perfect shot. He keeps moving
hesitantly as if he is unsure at what moment to hit the ball.
COMMENTATOR (V.O.)
(quietly)
And now, we have our final competitor for the day. This guy
seems to have come out of nowhere but his performance so far has been pretty
impressive. Now he just needs to complete this to have taken the contest and
won 10 million dollars.
The Golfer finally hits the ball. There is complete silence.
The ball hits the ground after a prolonged silence. It moves
its way around the golf hole. Everyone is watching. Finally the golf ball lands
in the hole. The crowd cheers and the Golfer cheers loudest of all.
Suddenly, the sounds of cheering start to fade. Also Sprach
Zarathustra by Richard Strauss plays.
The Golfer looks in disbelief as the golf ball emerges out of
the golf hole again, moving very, very slowly. The Golfer gasps in horror as he
sees the golf ball is riding on a GOPHER.
The Gopher brings the ball back up to the surface again in a
shot referencing the opening of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
The Golfer slams his golf club to the ground in a similar way
to how the apes in 2001: A Space Odyssey slam bones to the ground. He is
clearly angry and frustrated. It is very clear now that the Golfer has lost the
tournament.
The Gopher throws the golf ball off his head, which hits and
smashes the camera.
Below is the first draft of the script for "Gopher Golf". This version includes more dialogue from the Commentator.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
A newspaper falls through the letterbox on a front door. A man
walks over and picks it up. This man is the GOLFER, a tall man wearing a green
golf shirt, hat, shoes and shorts. The man sees a large headline on the
newspaper and gasps - it reads "$10,000,000 prize offered at Golfing
Championship". The Golfer clearly becomes excited and nods decisively.
EXT. GARDEN - DAY
The Golfer carefully places the golf ball on a tee in his back
garden. The garden is very large with flat, green, freshly-cut grass, a pond
and a single tree at the end and fencing all around the garden obscuring the
view outside. At the end of his garden, the Golfer has very badly dug a hole
for the golf ball to land into which is clearly too large.
In the background, the Golfer is playing an old cassette of a
golf match on an old cassette player to set the mood.
The Golfer swings carefully then hits the golf ball. The ball
misses the hole and lands near the tree.
COMMENTATOR (V.O.)
(faintly, on cassette player)
Ooh that was unlucky! That was unlucky!
The Golfer GROANS LOUDLY.
We cut to the Golfer trying again. This time he hits the golf
ball into the pond.
COMMENTATOR (V.O.)
(faintly, on cassette player)
No, he'll have to do a lot better than that!
The Golfer then hits the ball again. It's clear in his aim that
he is frustrated and not putting much effort into it. The ball lands in the
tree. The Golfer gives a fed-up look as an audience is faintly heard clapping
over the cassette player. The Golfer SIGHS LOUDLY.
Next the Golfer hits the ball over the fence and we hear the
ball hitting an old lady, who falls over with her bags of groceries. On the
cassette player a large audience is heard groaning.
COMMENTATOR (V.O.)
(faintly, on cassette player)
Whoa, that looked painful! I would NOT like to be her right
now!
The golfer growls angrily and kicks the cassette player over in
frustration. The Golfer then calms down and looks at the golf hole again. He
sighs then proceeds to try one more time. This time he aims much more carefully
with greater precision. He hits the ball and it finally goes into the golf
hole. The Golfer cheers and shouts excitedly, then looks at his newspaper again
feeling much happier.
EXT. PLAYING FIELD - DAY
The big day has arrived. Another GOLFER has just taken a shot
but the ball lands too far from the hole. The other golfer cries loudly in
anger and hurries off. Our Golfer simply laughs as he starts taking his place
in preparation for his perfect shot. A large crowd is seen behind him sitting
in stadium seating.
The whole time the Commentator is heard talking, the Golfer is
looking very nervous as he prepares his perfect shot. He keeps moving
hesitantly as if he is unsure at what moment to hit the ball.
COMMENTATOR (V.O.)
(quietly)
And now, we have our final competitor for the day. This guy
seems to have come out of nowhere but his performance so far has been pretty
impressive. Now he just needs to complete this to have taken the contest and
won 10 million dollars.
The Golfer finally hits the ball. There is complete silence.
The ball hits the ground after a prolonged silence. It moves
its way around the golf hole. Everyone is watching. Finally the golf ball lands
in the hole. The crowd cheers and the Golfer cheers loudest of all.
Suddenly, the sounds of cheering start to fade. Also Sprach
Zarathustra by Richard Strauss plays.
The Golfer looks in disbelief as the golf ball emerges out of
the golf hole again, moving very, very slowly. The Golfer gasps in horror as he
sees the golf ball is riding on a GOPHER.
The Gopher brings the ball back up to the surface again in a
shot referencing the opening of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
The Golfer slams his golf club to the ground in a similar way
to how the apes in 2001: A Space Odyssey slam bones to the ground. He is
clearly angry and frustrated. It is very clear now that the Golfer has lost the
tournament.
The Gopher throws the golf ball off his head, which hits and
smashes the camera.
The idea I chose to go with for my AX3001 film project is "Gopher Golf" (still currently a working title).
Gopher Golf
This film tells the story of a golfer living somewhere in America. He reads a
newspaper advertisement for a large golf tournament which involves a
huge cash prize. All sorts of mishaps get in the way of the golfer's
training as he becomes more and more obsessed with fame and fortune.
Finally, on the day of the big tournament, he thinks he has scored the
perfect try and boasts about his win, until a gopher emerges from the
ground revealing the golfer has failed.
I spent some time since my last post developing the story and the character of the Golfer. The film is a comedy and the motivation for the Golfer is his obsession with fame and fortune. I decided the initial synopsis (as can be seen above) had a strong enough beginning and ending, but needed more material in the middle. I decided this would be a great opportunity to set up the Golfer's greedy personality, which is key to making the conclusion of the film more effective and much funnier.
I did some research into what makes pitfalls and comeuppances in comedy really work, most notably the classic Tom & Jerry and Looney Tunes cartoons. I also considered classic slapstick comedians including Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton.
I largely used the Tom & Jerry short "Tee for Two" (1945) as a source of inspiration for the style of comedy used in my own film.
This style of humour works well with the storyline I have chosen, since I have known from the very beginning there will be no dialogue from the main character himself (the Golfer). It also differs to the style of comedy used in the film "Caddyshack" (1980), another source of inspiration for the film. Tom & Jerry focuses more on the slapstick humour the characters are famous for, which is much more ideal for a short film. The main characters themselves never spoke unless required for comedic purposes - only supporting characters such as Spike and Mammy Two Shoes ever spoke regularly. The first draft of my script currently includes the Commentator of the game as a speaking character - he is never seen on screen, but his presence is still necessary to add realism to the game of golf, as well as essentially acting as a narrator.
The Commentator has some dialogue in the final competition which is necessary for moving the story along as a 'narrator'. This is an idea I am very confident will be carried through to the final draft of the screenplay. I also considered including dialogue from the same Commentator in the first half of the film - in this case, adding to the comedy and frustrating the main character with his comments. I have now completed two drafts of the script - one with and one without this idea being included.
The Golfer will only communicate in body language or noises such as grunts, laughter, crying, cheers and other exclamations which are international and require no translation. This was partly inspired by the way characters in films by Aardman Animations communicate with each other - most notably Gromit (Wallace & Gromit), Morph & Chas, and the Farmer and other human characters in Shaun the Sheep.
The film will also feature no music and mostly rely on sound effects - I have recently watched the Ryder Cup for research into the film's subject matter and found the quiet sounds of the game are very atmospheric. I have decided to reflect this in the film to add a sense of realism - this also adds tension in the final scene and balances out the slapstick comedy. The only exception with the music is one piece that will be included in the end for comedic effect - 'Also Sprach Zarathustra' (German for 'Thus Spoke Zarathustra'), most famously heard in the Stanley Kubrick film '2001: A Space Odyssey' (1969). A royalty free version of this music is legally available through composer Kevin MacLeod.
To make the comeuppance of the main character funnier (the gopher returning the golf ball), I used the research above to set up who the main character is. The main character - the Golfer - is conceited and obsessed with fame and fortune to the point where he'll do anything to win. I had the idea to set this up with a montage where he is training for the final championship and all sorts of slapstick-type situations get in his way, from the ball landing in someone else's garden to the ball landing in a pond.
Before the Golfer takes his own perfect shot at the final championship, another golfer fails miserably at his perfect shot and our Golfer bursts out laughing. This is included to show how our Golfer thinks he is clearly the best and he'll do anything to win the competition. The Golfer is also seen frequently staring at his newspaper with the headline about the competition, showing the audience how obsessed he is with the game.
Very few characters will be (needed to be) included in the final film, as the main emphasis is on the Golfer and his comeuppance when the Gopher appears. An audience will be seen in stadium seating behind the Golfer at the final competition, although this can be easily drawn or added in as part of the background. The other Golfer who is seen taking a shot before our Golfer is the only other character seen on screen. The script does not require both golfers to be seen together, so I am currently considering using the same armature/rig for both but with different heads and clothes. The Gopher will be a hand puppet (similar to how Sooty and Sweep are operated) and also does not need to appear in the same shots as the Golfer - a larger scale set will be created for the Gopher's scenes. The golf ball used on the Gopher's set will be a real golf ball - on the Golfer's set a miniature version will be created.
I have currently written out two drafts of the script which will be enough to create storyboards and an animatic from. The animatic will be especially useful for testing out the timings of the story, which still has to fit in a time of three minutes.
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