Gopher Golf: First drafts of the Animatic

In the last few weeks, I have created two drafts of my animatic based on the final draft of my script.

The first draft of my animatic, as seen below, is purely based on the original script with no changes from the most recent draft of the script.





However, after feedback from tutors and the target audience, it was felt that the conflict needed to be stronger between the gopher and the golfer. This could be improved by having the gopher appear earlier in the film and the golfer would do something to provoke him, causing the gopher to retaliate at the end.

I was against the idea since it destroys the purpose of the film - the focus is meant to be on the golfer's character. The golfer is extremely vain and the story is about his comeuppance - the gopher is a device rather than a central character. It also creates a serious plot hole - why the gopher is in the golfer's garden one moment, and the next moment he's on the golf course. On the other hand, it was felt that the gopher's appearance at the end was almost too random - there was no lead-up to it.

However, I still created another draft of the animatic which includes the gopher appearing earlier on in the film. Below is the second draft of the animatic.




It was difficult to decide how to include the gopher early on in the film - I had a number of options, but I still didn't want the gopher to be a main character. This would make the ending of the film far too predictable and boring rather than surprising.

To avoid this problem, I thought about films I like where there are big reveals or there is a mystery to be solved. Films and books often include small, subtle clues scattered across the story which lead up to a "big reveal".

This is a film I saw at the 21st Bradford Animation Festival. This is an example of a film with a clever punch-line and the clues to it are done very subtly and very well.


Interview from The Animation Workshop on Vimeo.


Thinking back to this, I then remembered the montage where the golfer keeps failing to get a perfect shot: the ball lands in a pond, hits a garden knome, bashes a car and so on. In the final version of my animatic, I will try including the gopher during this montage. This would ensure that the gopher is acknowledged during the first half of the film, without making him the film's main character.

Other improvements I will make to the animatic include improvements to the film's timing - I feel there is a lot of "padding-out" which can be lost. I initially extended the length of some shots to allow dialogue to be included in the film, however, after seeing how the animatic turned out, the target audience and I all agreed the film would flow much better without dialogue. The character's performance and actions are enough to tell the story.