Gopher Golf: Updated Animatic, 10th February 2015

https://vimeo.com/119225647

The above link is for the updated version of my animatic, based on feedback I received recently that the set-up for the conflict wasn't strong enough.

I wanted the Gopher in the film to be a device, not a main character, so the film focuses more on the Golfer, his vanity and his eventual comeuppance. However, when I test screened the film for different audiences, it was felt that the ending was too random when a gopher appears out of nowhere. Then, when I included the Gopher in the first half of the film, it suddenly made the ending too predictable - which was something I really wanted to avoid.

The best way to compromise was to have the Gopher appear in the first half, then misdirect the audience - making them think one thing might happen, then something completely unexpected happens. I was reluctant to this as it made the Gopher more of a character than a plot device, but I can understand how it creates more interesting conflict between two characters - effectively like a Tom & Jerry or Looney Tunes short.

In this version, I've used a tutor's idea to have a house blown up by dynamite as the Golfer's comeuppance. This was originally to be the Golfer's own home, but this then leads to a massive plot hole - the Golfer has won enough money from the tournament to buy himself another house, so he doesn't get his comeuppance. I went around this error by having the Golfer spend his winnings on a new, improved house - in fact, a Californian mansion.

Whilst I still feel unsure about the ending, it definitely works better than previously - it works better for comedy, whilst still keeping the same moral values I've always wanted this film to have. The Gopher has become more of a character, but the story is still about the Golfer, his obsession with fame and fortune and the consequences it results in.

Gopher Golf: First drafts of the Animatic

In the last few weeks, I have created two drafts of my animatic based on the final draft of my script.

The first draft of my animatic, as seen below, is purely based on the original script with no changes from the most recent draft of the script.





However, after feedback from tutors and the target audience, it was felt that the conflict needed to be stronger between the gopher and the golfer. This could be improved by having the gopher appear earlier in the film and the golfer would do something to provoke him, causing the gopher to retaliate at the end.

I was against the idea since it destroys the purpose of the film - the focus is meant to be on the golfer's character. The golfer is extremely vain and the story is about his comeuppance - the gopher is a device rather than a central character. It also creates a serious plot hole - why the gopher is in the golfer's garden one moment, and the next moment he's on the golf course. On the other hand, it was felt that the gopher's appearance at the end was almost too random - there was no lead-up to it.

However, I still created another draft of the animatic which includes the gopher appearing earlier on in the film. Below is the second draft of the animatic.




It was difficult to decide how to include the gopher early on in the film - I had a number of options, but I still didn't want the gopher to be a main character. This would make the ending of the film far too predictable and boring rather than surprising.

To avoid this problem, I thought about films I like where there are big reveals or there is a mystery to be solved. Films and books often include small, subtle clues scattered across the story which lead up to a "big reveal".

This is a film I saw at the 21st Bradford Animation Festival. This is an example of a film with a clever punch-line and the clues to it are done very subtly and very well.


Interview from The Animation Workshop on Vimeo.


Thinking back to this, I then remembered the montage where the golfer keeps failing to get a perfect shot: the ball lands in a pond, hits a garden knome, bashes a car and so on. In the final version of my animatic, I will try including the gopher during this montage. This would ensure that the gopher is acknowledged during the first half of the film, without making him the film's main character.

Other improvements I will make to the animatic include improvements to the film's timing - I feel there is a lot of "padding-out" which can be lost. I initially extended the length of some shots to allow dialogue to be included in the film, however, after seeing how the animatic turned out, the target audience and I all agreed the film would flow much better without dialogue. The character's performance and actions are enough to tell the story.

Gopher Golf: Script breakdown

Here is the script breakdown for my film "Gopher Golf". Note that since this was completed, I have made the decision to remove all dialogue from the film, allowing the characters' performances to tell the story more fluently.

Gopher Golf: Backgrounds and Layouts

I plan for my film "Gopher Golf" to only use three locations - the film is meant to be three minutes in duration, so I aim to keep every element of my film simple, given that the film will not be long enough to include any details which are too complex and affect the storyline.

The three locations are:

• Golfer's house - interior
• Golfer's house - exterior
• Professional golf course/field - exterior

The interior of the Golfer's house only appears on screen for an approximate duration of twenty seconds, even though it will likely be the most complex set to build. This will be the only set where every prop will be sculpted from scratch. For these, I plan to use a combination of silicone, plasticine and pre-built props. These will depend on which materials match the scale of the Golfer puppet, which, at the time of writing, is yet to be built.

The exterior of the Golfer's house and the exterior of the golf course will likely be easier to build. I will be shooting these scenes simultaneously, so I will be able to build one of these sets to film on, then build another using the same basic materials. I have a roll of fake grass which I will be using for both sets. I will also be sculpting props such as a tree, fence and pond which another prop (the golf ball) will interact with. Any other props (which the main character does not interact with) will be hand-drawn/hand-painted onto different backgrounds.

Below are some real-life photos of how I would imagine the golf course to look:

The Golfer and Gopher puppets will be different scales, although neither of these two characters will be required to appear in the same shots together. Therefore, I will be using two different scales for the golf course exterior set - one for the Golfer and one for the Gopher. The same roll of grass and range of backgrounds will be used, creating the illusion that the scene is filmed on one set of one scale.

The Gopher is a hand-operated puppet (e.g. Sooty, Basil Brush) who will be appearing out of a golf hole - so, for this particular scene, I will cut out of a piece of the fake grass to act as the golf hole. A jack will be used to push the Gopher out of the golf hole, as tested and demonstrated in the pictures below: