https://vimeo.com/119225647
The above link is for the updated version of my animatic, based on feedback I received recently that the set-up for the conflict wasn't strong enough.
I wanted the Gopher in the film to be a device, not a main character, so the film focuses more on the Golfer, his vanity and his eventual comeuppance. However, when I test screened the film for different audiences, it was felt that the ending was too random when a gopher appears out of nowhere. Then, when I included the Gopher in the first half of the film, it suddenly made the ending too predictable - which was something I really wanted to avoid.
The best way to compromise was to have the Gopher appear in the first half, then misdirect the audience - making them think one thing might happen, then something completely unexpected happens. I was reluctant to this as it made the Gopher more of a character than a plot device, but I can understand how it creates more interesting conflict between two characters - effectively like a Tom & Jerry or Looney Tunes short.
In this version, I've used a tutor's idea to have a house blown up by dynamite as the Golfer's comeuppance. This was originally to be the Golfer's own home, but this then leads to a massive plot hole - the Golfer has won enough money from the tournament to buy himself another house, so he doesn't get his comeuppance. I went around this error by having the Golfer spend his winnings on a new, improved house - in fact, a Californian mansion.
Whilst I still feel unsure about the ending, it definitely works better than previously - it works better for comedy, whilst still keeping the same moral values I've always wanted this film to have. The Gopher has become more of a character, but the story is still about the Golfer, his obsession with fame and fortune and the consequences it results in.
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